Agents Universe

Before reading this, read:

AN OASIS OF VIOLENCE - SAVING KYLE PART 1
https://mars.chatfighters.com/story/50677

THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS - SAVING KYLE PART 2
https://mars.chatfighters.com/story/50780

THE VALLEY OF DESPAIR - SAVING KYLE PART 3
https://mars.chatfighters.com/story/50781

A BITTER PILL - SAVING KYLE PART 4
https://mars.chatfighters.com/story/50847

TO SAVE A HERO - SAVING KYLE PART 5
https://mars.chatfighters.com/story/50928

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I dart forward on silent steps to Mason’s bedside. I had absolute trust in Jack to keep watch. My first task was to check if Mason was alive. A quick index finger on his limp wrist confirmed that he was alive. Good. Next step, free him. His wounds were bad, but he didn’t have any broken bones, though a quick examination revealed that the soles of his feet were badly swollen, they had been badly beaten. It might take a while before the swelling went down. Oh god, Mason… I’d bet him before at conferences and meetings, we were on a first name basis, but we weren’t close friends. I had a huge respect for him though, he was a giant in our profession, and his selflessness, skill, and dedication were inspirations to all of us. It hurt deeply to see him like this. But, no time for that now. I quickly bring out my combat knife and slice through the straps holding him to the table. Then, gently, taking some water from the sink, I cleaned out the wounds on his chest, washing away the salt. He started to stir then. I whispered into Mason’s ear, “Shhh… it’s a friend… stay quiet… stay quiet.. We are going to get you out of this.”

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Slowly, my consciousness begins to return. I almost wish it hadn’t. The memory of that video… the realization that I had nearly broken… it was a bitter pill to swallow. I felt so weak, unmanned… when I most needed to be strong. I became aware of water on my torso, washing the deep scratches, I shivered, but the water was soothing, and washed the salt away. Then, I heard a voice in my ear, a friend?? What… my eyes fluttered open, and I became aware of so much pain, everywhere… and a new pain, a self-inflicted agony on the back of my skull, where I had deliberately knocked myself out to prevent myself from breaking. Oh fuck… so much pain… but… my wrists… my ankles… they were free… I was being freed.. Who was this… My vision focused, and I gasped in stunned shock. I knew that face, that handsome bearded face.. It was… it was… I whispered… “Jeff? Jeff… how what… you are in danger… kyle..”

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: “Shhhh James… quiet. Stay still. Explanations can wait. We need to get you out of here.”

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: We slip into the room silently but I stay pressed against the door, my ear against the crack as I peer down the hallway. I can see enough, despite it being so dimly lit, and prepare to call for action if necessary. I hear Jeff tending to Mason behind me, his voice gentle and comforting. I can’t even begin to imagine what Mason has gone through, I only saw his body briefly before keeping watch. He didn’t even look as if he’d be able to walk-- Fuck! Footsteps approaching, two male voices echoing throughout the corridor. “Sir! Two of them!” I call in a loud whisper, just enough for Jeff to hear. I hide behind the door so that I will remain undetected when they open it. I equip my silenced pistol and hold it against my chest, keeping as flat to the wall as possible. Jeff is in the middle of the room, clearly visible from outside and with very little time to take action. I gesture to Jeff that I’ve got the situation under control as he makes himself hidden. The voices get louder and my body stiffens, more ready than ever. The door opens with a clatter and two men enter, laughing raucously as they step into the room.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Suddenly, I hear voices approaching, and Jack’s whisper cuts through the dimness of the room. FUCK. Company. I motion James to stay low, and look for a hiding place. There aren’t any, and I have no time. Jack … Jack my boy, you got this. You got this. I stand in front of James, ready to protect him with my body if I need to, as two men enter the room. I don’t even have time to draw my gun, but Jack is ready.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: The door swings back and I identify my targets: two large men with pistols holstered in their belt. I have to move with lightning speed to pull this off, and my blood feels as though it has been replaced with pure fire. I’m ready. I aim the silenced pistol at the right-hand side guard, sending a bullet into the back of his head. As the second guard reacts to his fallen friend I fly forwards, grabbing his gun as he turns towards me and pulls it from it’s holster, then smash my head against his with all my strength. It hurts like hell but I continue with my attack, swiftly twisting the gun out of his hand and sliding it along the floor towards Jeff, out of reach of the Syndicate guard. I withdraw my knife with my free hand and hold it against his throat, my other hand pressing my gun against his head as he recovers from the headbutt. My forehead throbs, this guy’s fucking skull is like a boulder. “Shhhh, shhhh” I coo at him like lulling a baby to sleep. He’s not scared, I can tell. He glares into my eyes but he knows exactly what position he is in. If he tries to move I’ll shoot him in the head, the knife is there in case I need to have a little fun. I decided to keep this one alive, he can give us some information on how many Syndicate guards are around.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: He kills one instantly, with a quick, silent shot. There is no hesitation in his actions. He does what he has to do, and does it well. He is on the second guard, disarming him, headbutting him in the process, his pistol sliding along the floor. I stop it with my foot, and pick it up, handing it to James. James nods, I can see he’s adapting quickly, and takes it with gratitude in his eyes. Jack has his gun against the guard’s head, but I can tell the guard is one cool cucumber, he’s not impressed by Jack’s obvious youth. I know that is a mistake. I need to trust Jack though, and I turn to Mason.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Everything is happening rapidly, two guards enter the room, suddenly one is dead and one is held prisoner by Jeff’s partner. I hurt so much… but I don’t have time to hurt.. Kyle, he needs me, we have to go. Jeff gives me a pistol as Jeff’s partner… wait… I know him… that’s … that’s… Jack Young!!! The young CSIS agent that was tortured by Derek Steel, the one responsible for the “Toronto Incident” Fuck… here with Jeff? I look uncertain, but then, it passes. If Jeff trusts him, I trust him. I swing my legs over onto the floor, and go to stand, suddenly gasping in agony as my tortured feet send a shockwave of paralyzing pain up my hard, muscled, brutalized body, and I start to collapse.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I turn away from Jack, focusing on James. I try to stop James, but that big fool tries to get up and stand as though nothing has happened. He puts his feet on the floor and collapses, but I catch him. FUCK… he’s a big boy. I grunt, my knife re-sheathed so I have both arms free to prop the big man up. He looks embarrassed, I can see it in his eyes. I also notice the bandages on his back and side and his forearm. FUCK. Are they fresh, or more likely from the fight he was in the day before yesterday? This is a man near collapse, but he refuses to give up.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I stare into his eyes, searching for a flicker of fear. Either he’s very good at hiding his emotions, or he’s a tough piece of shit. “Pretty sure it goes without saying that you so much as call for help and I’ll turn you into your little friend here,” I kick the body at my feet. “You’re gonna tell me exactly how many of you assholes there are crawling around this shithole, and you’re gonna tell me now” I don’t blink as I stare into his brown eyes. He laughs, a proper and true belly laugh.

12:26 Ian_Foster: Fuck, this was boring. Another day of guarding this dump. God I hate Ohio. At least I’ve got Cal, my right-hand man. He makes this dump seem slightly less dull as fucking dishwater. We travel in a pair, checking the perimeter and stalking the hallways just to make sure everything’s all in order. I was made for so much more than this, and one day I’ll be as respected as that British prick Derek Steel. We were hired to aid with this “Mason situation”, the bosses wanted some extra detail in case any MI6 or CIA bastards showed up. Cal and I do probably our twelfth circuit of the day, and approach Mason’s room as Cal finishes some ridiculous story. The agent is a pathetic sight. He’s in really bad shape, Daniel has been busy. He’s really ripped into this gu-- FUCK! Blood sprays from Cal’s head and he falls to the floor. With quick reflexes I turn, withdrawing my gun but something smashes into my head and disarms me, then a knife presses to my throat and a gun rests against my head.

12:26 Ian_Foster: I can’t believe what I’m looking at when my eyes readjust after the blow to my head. A fucking child. A pathetic child who grew a beard to make himself look older, but a child nonetheless. He threatens me, and I can’t help but laugh. This fucking 10-year-old thinks he can intimidate me? Fucking rich. “Oh, kid..” I laugh again, the fucking determination in his eyes as he glares at me. “If you lost your mommy, that’s okay. I’ll help you find her,” I laugh again, Cal would have liked that. “Get the fuck off of me..”

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: “I really don’t have time for this shit,” I holster the knife, torturing him is fruitless. He’ll yell and draw attention. I hear movement behind me, Jeff and Mason no doubt, but my attention is entirely on this piece of shit. I pat him down with my free hand and feel something in his back pocket. I pull it out.. A wallet. I open it with one hand and notice a polaroid placed inside the plastic window. Oh fuck.. It’s a little boy. My stomach twists. I’m not proud of what is about to happen. I’m so not fucking proud. I’m not strong enough for this. I take a deep breath through my nose and dig deep, trying to block out my words. “This your boy?” I ask, and his expression changes slightly. This hurts. I look in the wallet again and pull out a few cards, searching for something more specific. I find an ID and see ‘Kansas City, Louisiana’. Don’t hate me, Jeff.. I’m doing whatever it takes to get us out of here safely. “Kansas City.. you know we have systems that can find him for us simply with a face scan..” I hate myself. So fucking much. My words are empty, I have no intention of hurting a child. I just need answers.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Gritting my teeth, humiliation causing my skin to flush. So much pain, pain everywhere, but most of all in my feet just now. But… I will stand… I WILL fucking walk out of this. Using Jeff as a support, I take a step forward, forcing my feet to make contact with the cold floor. Then, another small step. It’s excruciating. I also overhear the conversation between Jack and the guard. Fuck. This kid, this Jack, he’s good. He’s got good instincts. He thinks and acts quickly on his feet. I look at him in a new light, not as the agent who crippled the CSIS, but as a young man with tremendous talent and potential.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: James is such a stubborn bastard. I’ve already come to the conclusion that I will have to carry him out of here on my back. Fuck… he’s a heavy fucker. But I can do it. I know it. But James doesn’t know it yet. I overhear the conversation Jack is having. Fuck. Jack is learning fast, growing fast. But I know how hard this will be for him. I know how much it will hurt. I was the same way. And, if I’m honest with myself, that’s why I love him so much. Because this does hurt. That’s why he has the makings of such a talented agent. Because this hurts so much, yet he has the strength to do it anyways. He is going to need me after this, I know it.

12:26 Ian_Foster: He pulls out my wallet and I know exactly what’s in there, don’t you fucking dare, kid.. Don’t you fucking-- he does. He threatens my child. My boy. My Joel. The absolute light of my life. I want to rip this fucking kid’s skin off his bones. “You sick fuckin’ asshole, threatenin’ my boy? I’m gonna pull your heart out of your ass, after I put you on that table” I glance over at Mason. This twisted piece of shit deserves nothing more than the same treatment.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I should have just killed him. Why did I keep him alive? I thought he might have something useful for us, but god fucking damnit now I’m threatening a father and it would have just been so much easier to kill him without ever knowing. I’m in too deep now, I have to keep showing strength. “Last fucking chance, or I start arranging a little coffin. Guards. How many? And where?” I feel sick. I want him to disarm me and put a bullet through my head. I’m threatening to kill a child. Please, Jeff.. please cover your ears. I feel myself trembling ever so slightly, this is all getting too much. But finally he cracks.

12:26: Ian_Foster: A little. Fucking. Coffin. Burn in hell you fucking animal. I have to concede. I don’t know if this is an empty threat, or a genuine sick-minded promise. I can’t take the risk, he could make a phonecall or arrange for it to happen after killing me here, I can’t fucking take the risk. Joel means too much to me. “We’re a small operation. Steel and Allen are here, but I think they’re a little… preoccupied right now. There’s 6 guards, but you just took one out. The others are stationed on the north-facing and south-facing side of the building. Cal and I were responsible for the east-facing exit when we weren’t patrolling. It’s low risk because there are cameras there, but you can disable those or take them out. There’s somebody manning the security room but he spends 90% of his time smoking outside. So you can get out on the east-side, there’s obviously nobody there now. You fucking beast.” I had to get that last bit in.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I pull away, now feeling completely numb. I straighten my arm, keeping my gun pointed straight at his head. I know what I have to do. I can’t let him go. I can’t risk him alerting Steel or Allen, or even the other guards. Stealth is our mission. In and out. “No one sees us enter, no one sees us leave” Jeff’s words echo in my mind. Well, Jack. A child is about to become fatherless because of you. I pull the trigger, a silent bullet blasting through his head, and then the world stops around me. I feel like I can’t breathe, that kid.. I’ve ruined his life. I’ve done to him what Steel did to me. My chest tightens, my breaths are shallow and shaky. He was a Syndicate agent, Jack. He deserved it. I knew in my heart that was true, but my sympathy was with the kid. No training could have prepared me for this. Jeff. Mason. I’d removed myself from the situation so much I hadn’t been hearing them or paying any attention to what they’ve been doing. I look at Jeff for the first time since entering the room and I feel like a ghost, barely there. Don’t hate me, sir. Don’t hate me like I hate myself.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Jack carries out his duty to it’s inevitable, heartbreaking, tragic conclusion. The other guard falls dead to the floor, and Jack has secured the information that will get the three of us out of here alive. I am both so proud and so heartbroken for Jack at the same time. He needs me. But right now, we need to get out of here. I walk forward, towards Jack as he stands in stunned shock from his own actions. I catch his eyes, and i can see the self hatred reflected there, the sickening actions he had to take to keep us safe were burning inside him. It was obvious. I looked at Mason, and sympathy and compassion were in his eyes. He knew the signs as well as I did. I looked back at Jack, my voice was firm, and hard. “Jack. You did what you had to. Now focus. I need you to focus for me. Be strong. Later, you and I are going to talk this out. You understand? We are going to talk this out. But right now, you don’t have time to hate yourself. You don’t have time to beat yourself up. Mason needs us. I need you. We need to get Mason out now. Stay with me boy.” Boy? Why did I call him boy?

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I watch the scene unfold in front of my eyes. The kid handled it like a professional. He selected an appropriate threat, acquired the intelligence, then ensured that there would be no witnesses to my rescue. And yet, it cost him. Cost him big. I respected him for that more than anything else. He paid the price for duty, no matter what it cost him. He had the makings of a fine agent. Then, as I fully expected, Jeff handled the situation with warmth, with directness, and with appropriate skill. He was every bit as good in the field as I had heard, and he and Jack clearly had a very special rapport. I wonder if they were sharing the same bed? But then, I heard Jeff mention getting me out now. Kyle… if I left now, I would never be able to find Kyle. I… couldn’t… couldn’t… leave him with Ivan. I couldn’t. Anguish in my voice, I started to tremble and spoke up in a quiet, broken voice.. “I… can’t.. Kyle… Ivan has Kyle… Inspector Kyle Byrne… he has him and is torturing him, brainwashing him.. I can’t leave until I’ve found where he is at… fuck… please…” I heard the pleading in my voice, the broken quality and was ashamed. Where was the strength of character that I was known for? What about my duty to MI6? The logical thing, the smart thing was to retreat… My love for Kyle had nearly cost MI6 everything… if I had broken.. But I hadn’t.. If I tried to go after Kyle… I would risk everything… It was insane. And yet. It was the right thing to do. I knew it. How could I live with myself if I didn’t try or die in the attempt?

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I feel like I'm in a zombie state of mind, numb to everything around me. But Jeff's eyes, they reflect only warmth back at me and it helps me refocus. Boy.. the word almost stabbed me like a knife, but I also kind of liked it. This job is going to age me quicker than drugs, so I guess it's nice to cling into the youth whilst I have it. If anybody else had said it, I'd have rebutted.. but Jeff, he had no hard intentions. He said it in such a way that I knew he understood what I was going though. Like a mentor to a student, that's how it felt. Focus. James Mason, he's alive and in bad shape. He mentions Kyle Byrne and I know exactly who he means. "Kyle is being kept in Des Moines, I saw a document that--" I swallow the lump in my throat. "--said what they were doing to him". I look at the wallet in my hand and a stupid sensation overcomes me. With my thumb, I slide the photo of the boy out of its holding place and grasp it with my fingers, letting the wallet slump onto the dead Syndicate's body. I pocket the photo. It feels like my duty, to not let it rot inside this warehouse. Maybe somehow, someday.. I could make it up to him.. fuck, Jack, focus!!

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: James is in no state to move, at least not on his own. He's too heavy for me, meaning Jeff is going to have his hands full. "We can get out on the east side, it sounds like I took out the guy watching the cameras. Sir," I look back at Jeff, longing to be in his arms to that now. "Let me lead the way, you might not have a free hand.." I gesture at Mason. God they worked real hard on him. This Kyle person must mean a hell of a lot to him too. "The car is too far away for him and we're running out of time, they're going to start noticing missing people. What do you need me to do?"

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I look over at James in shock, what was this? Rescue this guy Kyle? I looked at him carefully, listening to the tone of his voice. He had been through a lot. He had been hurt and tortured savagely, but he wanted to find and rescue this man Kyle? I mean, no one should be left to the tender mercies of the Syndicate, but frankly, the whole idea was insane. What was he after? I didn’t have time to consider it though, and my eyes snapped back to Jack’s face. And Jack was pulling through. As much as what he had just done had hurt him, he was pulling through, he was focusing. Damn, Jack was showing every bit of talent and potential I knew he had in him. I was so proud of him. I loved him so much. He started talking about a document he saw with the information about Kyle and his location. Then, Jack speaks further, making a proposal that seems eminently sensible, based on the information the dead guard had provided. I nodded. Then, I replied. Everything Jack had said was exactly in line with what I planned. The boy… the man… learned very fast. “I need you to lead on Jack. I’ll follow with Mason. And… I’m proud of you.” A little encouragement was just what Jack needed right now. Then, before he could protest, I heaved up the massively muscled, heavyweight agent, James Mason, balancing him over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry. FUCK. He was heavy. My legs, my core, every muscle in my body was trembling with effort. But this is what had to be done, and so I would do it. I may not be a big man, with big, thick, massive muscles like James Mason, but my hairy beef was deceptively strong and hard. I had the strength, the fortitude, and the resolve. This needed doing, and it would be done. End of story.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Relief washes over me in waves as Jack tells me about Kyle and his location. Hold on Kyle, hold on. I focus through the pounding headache, through all the aching pain that is assaulting my brain, switching myself into combat mode. Jack makes good sense, and I hobble forward, hefting my pistol, ready to cover our rear, when suddenly I find myself over Jeff’s shoulder. “What the fuck? Put me down Jeff. I can walk.”

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I speak in a firm voice, hard without any give in it. “Shut the fuck up Mason. Be sensible. You couldn’t keep up. Use your head man. This is the only way.”

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I feel a sense of shame washing through me. He was right. Jeff was right. I had barely managed the five steps to the door, and that was with Jeff supporting me. I shut up. It was time for me to let go, and trust these CSIS men to do their jobs. It was another bitter pill to swallow, but I was man enough to swallow it.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I feel such a sense of relief to know that Jeff supports my plan. I want... No, NEED to show that I know what I'm doing, that I can be trusted. I nod, and he tells me he's proud of me. Warmth returns my body. Jeff didn't need to say that, it was probably slightly unprofessional, but I needed to hear it. He hoists Mason up over his shoulder, he's so strong.. I remember when he held me like that. I move my way to the door as Mason protests, scanning the corridor before opening it and stepping out. I gesture back to Jeff that it's clear.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I move down the corridors, my gun raised in preparation. Jeff and Mason trail a few metres behind me, and I check on them every few seconds. I quickly check the compass on my phone to make sure we're heading towards the east side of the building. It's really quiet around, and I get a little uneasy.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: "Have you guys seen Lowell?" I hear a few corridors round. Fuck, which one was Lowell? It could have been any of the 3 fuckers I've killed, I gesture to Jeff to stop and keep listening.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: "No, we're looking for Cal and Ian, they haven't come round for a while.." oh shit, there's 3 guards left, as well as Steel and Allen. I've only heard two voices and neither of them I recognise, but the second guy.. he said "we". It's all 3 remaining guards, and they're suspicious as fuck.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: "I don't like this," the first guy says again. "You two keep looking for Cal and Ian, I'm getting Daniel. Not taking any chances.." and then the sound of footsteps. Fuck, somebody's alerting Daniel and Steel! I can't tell which footsteps apparoach us, the pair or the single agent, please let it be the fucking single agent..

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: It is. It's the single guy going for Daniel. Thank fuck. He comes down the corridor next to us, walking right towards us. He's moving quickly, clearly knowing that something isn't right. He's going to have his gun drawn, I can't jump him.. he'll shoot and it won't be silent, think think think. He starts to turn into our corridor, I act on pure instinct. I draw my knife and with absolute precision, in the quickest of flashes, I swipe at the hand holding his sidearm. Thank fuck, it works and he drops the gun although he does yell out. I quickly place my palm over his mouth to muffle the sound and push him against the wall, kneeing him in the back of his so that he falls to his knees. Then, with my knife wielding hand I slit his throat, opening a perfect line across his neck that oozes crimson and drenches me in blood. It was messy, but I couldn't risk shooting him and not killing him, causing him to shoot his own gun. He falls lifelessly to the ground, the fourth life I've taken today, my own personal record? A voice in my head laughs "no no no, Jack. You've killed 10 government agents, remember?". I turn to Jeff, my body covered in the man’s blood. Some of it sprayed across my face, thank God my mouth was closed. I wipe the blade on my shirt and holster it, then wipe the blood off my face with my hand.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: As I make my way behind Jack, I have to focus on every step. I’m carrying well upwards of at least 220 pounds of solid man. It’s not exactly a walk in the park. And if I have to fight… I’m going to dump James, which will cost precious seconds. I had to trust Jack now. He’d already shown me some remarkable talent tonight. I always knew he had it in him. Then, I hear the voices, and I know that we are fucked. They have missed their dead guards. If Steel and Daniel get alerted, that could be the end of the road for us. I tense, getting ready to drop James, draw my weapon and step up beside Jack as footsteps approach, but Jack is on it. He draws his knife, and in a series of blade strokes, some rapid hand to hand on Jack’s part, and one yell, which I sincerely hope wasn’t loud enough to be heard, it’s over. Jack is covered in blood. Cooly, he wipes his blade and resheathes it. I look at him, and nod. I can only imagine how hard this is on him. I will be there for him, he will need me tonight after we get to safety. Not if. When we get to safety. We move silently the rest of the way, out of the compound, taking advantage of the information Jack gathered to bypass the camera. We get to the Land Rover and I put James in the back seat, then jump into the driver’s seat myself.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I motion for Jack to get in the back with Mason. “Check Mason out Jack, and get the man some painkillers. We have some emergency morphine in the medkit in the duffle bag. Get it in him, while I get us the fuck out of here. And…. good job Jack. That was some damn fine work. We’ll talk it all out later. Trust me.”

12:26 AgentJamesMason: This is on some levels totally humiliating. And on other levels, fascinating to watch how well these two work together, like a well oiled machine. Both of them are hot and handsome as fuck, but at first glance, you wouldn’t think either one of them had the makings of an action hero, they weren’t big men, neither was overly muscled, but they were pure professionals, clearly highly trained and exceptionally fit. It was a joy to watch them in action. When we finally got back to the Rover, I noticed that Jack was covered in blood from his knife work. As Jack started checking me out, I heard morphine. I wouldn’t say no to some morphine. My wounds and injuries were aching like a son of a bitch right now, and having some time without pain would be such a blessing. I reached out and grabbed a cloth from the medkit, and reaching up, wiped away some of the blood on Jack’s face, then spoke up, “Thanks Jack. Thanks Jeff. You saved my life there. I fucked up. Fucked up big time… but sometimes a man does strange things when he’s in love. Kyle… I … he… “ I swallowed. “This is against every regulation in the book. But I have to try saving him from the Syndicate. He’s not important, he doesn’t have any intelligence worth anything to the Syndicate. But he messed up Ivan’s schemes, and Ivan wants revenge. He wants to … to .. hurt Kyle… to twist him out of spite. But he saved my life, and … we.. I love him. I don’t care how risky it is, I’m going to save him or die trying. They… they .. are trying to brainwash him… That’s one of Ivan’s specialities. So, you can just drop me off at the airport tomorrow morning, tell me where Kyle is being held, and you can pretend this conversation never happened.”

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I lead the way to the land rover and climb into the backseat as instructed; my turn to take on the role of medic. I remove my bulletproof vest and outer layer of clothing, using it to drape over James' bottom half to give him some dignity. James is in such a bad way, but a shot of morphine will tide him over. I open the emergency medical kit and start prepping the morphine, making sure to give a safe dose based on Mason's estimated size. Suddenly a soft cloth brushes my face, it's Mason.. wiping the blood off. I smile and nod at him in gratitude, then draw up the morphine. "Sharp," I say in warning, and pinch some skin of Mason's abs to create a fold. Then I insert the needle and inject, quickly so as to reduce stinging - like that's the thing he's worried about most right now. I reach out some saline solution and gauze from the kit, then wipe the worst wounds to clean them out. The last thing he needs is an infection, then dress them with fresh bandages.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: James starts explaining the situation with Kyle and my heart sinks, this kid isn't even involved with us and has somehow ended up in Ivan's grasp? James really loves him, that much is obvious. I know in my heart that we should help, we can't just dump Mason at the airport and say "good luck", but I'm not in command here, and I've made reckless decisions before. I need to let Jeff decide on this, but a strange confidence fills my gut and makes me brave. I have to speak up. "Sir.. we can't let him suffer any more, and Mason isn't in the best shape. They need us.." I'm sure Jeff will already be on the same page, but the thought of annoying him or even just disagreeing with him feels like salt in a wound.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: As I start to shift gears and head back to our hotel room, I glance once in the rearview mirror to check out Jack and Mason. I listen to Mason’s request almost in a state of shock. He… he can’t be serious… I look again, and he is. I swallow, I don’t know how to respond. It’s completely ridiculous, it’s against every single regulation, it risks not only us but also Mason himself, who would insist on coming along. And yet… there is a small voice in my mind that speaks to me. “If that was Jack, what would you do?” I grew sober. I had already done it. I had hared off like some kind of movie-star idiot action hero to rescue Jack from Derek Steel’s clutches. And here I was becoming outraged and shocked that James Mason wanted to do the same for the man he loved? Who was I to judge? I looked troubled.. “James… be reasonable. I can’t let you risk your life like that. Let me take you back to Toronto, let’s get you healed up, and we can discuss this with MI6 and….” I trail off, as I see the expression on James’ face… I know that expression. I know it… because … it’s exactly how I would have looked if someone had told me I couldn’t try to rescue Jack.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I looked up at Jack, gratitude and warmth in my eyes as he took off his bullet proof vest and his outer shirt to preserve my dignity. This was a good lad. Then, even, more blessedly, he injected me with morphine. Oh fuck.. What a gift to have some reprieve from the never-ending pain. Then, I listen to Jeff’s reply. Of course. That’s exactly what I would have said in Jeff’s position. What I am going to do is insane. Totally against every regulation. But… I won’t let myself get captured this time. If it looks like I can’t save Kyle, which is of course the most probable outcome, I will swallow a special pill to prevent capture. Even if I fail to free my Kyle, the Syndicate will NOT have another chance to interrogate me. I am about to speak up, when Jack speaks first. I look over at him, sharply, deeply. The lad has a heart far bigger than his brain. And in a sudden flash of insight, I have a sense, a feeling, that he and Jeff are meant for each other. I can’t risk them helping me. No. Not a chance. I won’t risk what … they have .. in addition to my Kyle. Not after they went through so much to save my ass. “Just that. Just the airport, tomorrow morning,… no questions asked. And Jack.. I appreciate your support, I really do, but this .. I can’t… I won’t… I forbid either of you from accompanying me. Jeff, if I could just borrow one of your suicide pills in the event I don’t succed .. That way, if I fail, then I will use that to avoid capture. But… I can’t… I CAN’T .. live with myself if I don’t do everything in my power to save Kyle. I … “ I swallow. “I love him.”

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: An awkward silence falls upon us after James declares his love. I imagine Kyle in the same situation as I was, groaning in crippling agony.. At least Jeff came for me. I soon realise that I’m actually speaking out loud, I was so lost in the words I didn’t realise my lips were actually forming them. “--and if you hadn't come, sir.. I’d still be there now. Getting tortured and r--” fuck, my heart falls out my ass. “--stuff, by Derek. Or he’d have killed me. Mason, with all due respect..” I look him up and down. “You’re in no fit state to do this on your own. I don’t want to overstep, I’m by far the least experienced guy here, and definitely the one with the worst track record, but..” I feel like I’m embarrassing myself. I swallow the lump and keep going. “I feel like we have to do something. But sir, whatever you decide. I respect it.” As I speak I battle back and forth with the idea myself. If I agree and advocate this the way I am currently doing, and Jeff gets hurt whilst saving Kyle, I’ll never forgive myself. Am I seriously contemplating leaving Mason to rescue Kyle on his own so that I don’t put Jeff in a dangerous situation? Jeff’s a pro, he’s been doing this for years. He’s been in so many dangerous situations before, I can’t control his life now just because I love him the way I so deeply do.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: A tiny, horrible and selfish part of me hopes that Jeff declines helping Mason, but I soon push the thought away. I’m not like that, Kyle needs saving and that’s that. If anything even begins to happen to Jeff, should he agree to help, I will do everything in my power to take him out of that situation. I value his life and safety a hell of a lot more than I value my own. I don’t care much for myself since the “incident”. The photograph of the boy I now have in my pocket will join my collection of people I’ve fucked over; a secret box in my room at Jeff’s house filled with photographs of the agents I’d exposed, and Jeff has no idea of the times I would drink myself into madness sifting through their faces. Soon they will be in the company of the boy whose father I killed. Was I now his Derek Steel? The man he’d grow up wanting to hunt down and kill in vengeance of his dad? My thoughts dwindled so far I realise I’ve been staring numbly into space for God knows how long.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I drive onward, unable to respond to James at first. He is serious. Deadly serious when he says he’s going to rescue Kyle or die in the attempt. He loves Kyle, there is no denying it. He is determined to get himself killed. I don’t know James well… but I know what a blow his loss would be to the entire intelligence community. His death would set us back considerably. I glance up in the rear view mirror, and my eyes fall on Jack’s face. I remember the horror, the fear, the determination that fueled me that night when I rescued him from Derek Steel. Nothing on earth could have stopped me that night. Nothing is going to stop James. But I can’t, not in good conscious, let him run off to get himself killed like this. He’s been tortured, knifed, stabbed over the past few days. Even if he were in perfect health, how could he hope to infiltrate a heavily armed Syndicate base and rescue someone? It’s insane. Then, I look at Jack again in the rearview mirror as he starts to speak.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I listen in astonishment… Jack wants us to do this. He’s asking me to help, and he nearly, nearly talks about what we both know Derek did to him. But… could I do this? Could I risk not only my life, but Jack’s in a foolhardy attempt to rescue a man I never met for a man I barely know? Yes. For two reasons. First, it’s the right thing to do. Second, I cannot treat Jack like a porcelain doll, refusing to expose him to danger. He is a man. I have to give him the chance to be one. He proved that to you tonight like never before. I’ll be at his side, and I’ll have his back. And he’ll have mine. Suddenly, my heart swells with pride and love for Jack, nearly bringing a tear to my eye. He is such a good man. He has his father’s heart.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I look again at Jack, and suddenly I see his blank stare, I’ve seen that look before. Now that we are out of danger, the combat behind us, the reality of what he did is hitting him hard. I speak sharply, putting James on hold for a moment. “Jack. Stay with me. Stay with us. Don’t go inside your head right now. Trust me on this. When we get back to the hotel room, we will talk this out. But I need you with me right now. James needs you with him right now.”

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Then, I continue, addressing James, this time. My voice is hard as steel, and there is no give or quarter in my words. They are a statement of fact, not a subject for debate. “No, James. We are not dropping you off at the airport. What we are doing is going back to our hotel with you. We are going to study the location of the Syndicate base where Kyle is being held. I can access satellite imagery of the site. Then, together, as a team, we are going to come up with a plan to get in there, rescue Kyle, and get out. We will do this like the professionals we are.”

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I sit in the uncomfortable heavy silence, allowing the morphine to numb the throbbing pain of my wounds. I reach up and give Jack’s shoulder a squeeze to show my gratitude. Not just for the morphine, but for his words as well. Then, I lay back, and thought of Kyle. Our time together was so brief, but so bright, so very bright. I wished again that Nick were here with us. I wanted to say goodbye to him at least. I didn’t expect to survive tomorrow.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Then, suddenly, Jeff spoke. I looked over sharply at Jack, and I saw the signs of shock, the emotional impact of killing another man when you aren’t used to it. Jeff addressed him firmly, directly, and my heart went out to Jack. This was not easy for him. It hadn’t been easy for me either. I squeezed his shoulder again, knowing how important human touch was at times like this.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Then, Jeff spoke again, and to my astonishment, he was addressing me. His voice wasn’t a voice you argued with. I looked up in astonishment. I almost opened my mouth to protest, I couldn’t, wouldn’t let them risk their lives for me and Kyle, then his eyes nailed me with a glance through the rearview mirror. And I saw there was no argument to be made. It would be his way or no way. I nodded, suddenly, tears running down my cheeks as I started to cry. I’m not given to emotional outbursts, but suddenly I felt the emotion rolling through me in massive waves. The torture of the last few days, being forced to watch Kyle get kidnapped and brutally shot, watching the video as I was being tortured that showcased and highlighted the consequences of my failure. I had been holding everything back for so long now… and I couldn’t anymore. I cried… and cried.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I watch as my words breach James’s emotional defenses, and this is what he needs. He starts crying, the shock and trauma of his last week beginning to catch up with him. He needs this right now, I speak in a soft voice, “Jack… hold him. He needs to be held right now.” And, actually, the act of caring for someone was exactly what Jack needed right now to balance his emotional books. We are nearly to the hotel, not far now, then we can begin to make our plans. This is insanity, of course. But for love… insanity was excusable.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I completely zone out, engulfed by the dark void of my own thoughts; poisonous words that chip away at me and grind me into dust. I hear Jeff's voice address me and in an instant I'm back in the car, hyper aware and back in the game. I nod at Jeff through the mirror, silently thanking him for yet again dragging me out of that pit. Then, I feel a small squeeze on my shoulder, a little gesture of affection and understanding. I've never been so supported by other people, it feels.. incredible. I pat James on the knee twice in return, letting him know I'm alright, or will be. Then, Jeff agrees to help Mason and my chest fills with a thousand butterflies. He's such a beautiful and good man, he knows the risk and he knows we're being a bit reckless.. but he's putting it all to the side, maybe the same way he did the night he saved me.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: James suddenly turns into an emotional wreck and I'm astounded. In a split second I remind myself how even the largest and toughest of men can break. I see myself in James at this moment, collapsing the way I did oh so regularly after the "incident". Before I even realise it I'm holding him, Jeff commands me to do so but I'd already started doing it as he spoke. "It's okay, it's okay.." I place my arms around him and he falls against my chest, sobbing mercilessly. I have to blink away some tears, seeing somebody so distraught is never pleasant, unless you're a sick fucker like Derek Steel. I wonder when the last time he comforted somebody like this was. I gently rub Mason's strong, thick arms as he cries, soothing and cooing him. There are no words to say, and words are not what he needs. All I can do I let him know I'm here, that I'm listening, and that he's okay. What he needs is a sleep, but there's no time for that. He needs to sleep in a safe space, both physically and mentally, and recover. Maybe on the drive to Des Moines. I'll offer to drive there, let Jeff sleep too. But for now, I'll hold. For as long as Mason needs. I catch sight of Jeff looking in the mirror again, our eyes locking for a moment. I want to hold him too.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I can’t remember the last time I lost it like this. Grief and sorrow and guilt and shame flowed out of me from the deep pit where I’d be pouring it all the last couple of days, in a mighty torrent. Then, suddenly, Jack was holding me. He was rubbing my arms and making gentle noises. Finally, drained, the flow of tears stopped. Objectively, I knew exactly what was going on, considering the events of the past few days, it was inevitable. But I still felt embarrassed to have broken down like this, but Jack and Jeff handled it graciously. They were good men. The final straw had been Jeff’s insistence that he and Jack were going to help me. That unexpected offer of support had broken my grip. But to be honest, I felt better for it. It was what I needed. I sit up, the throbbing pain from my half-healed and freshly inflicted wounds dulled by the morphine. I look over at Jack and give him a warm smile full of gratitude.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: James is recovering quickly, that’s good, and exactly what I expected from him. He needed that. I pull into the car park outside our hotel. Thankfully, I was able to park right in front of the door to our room. Otherwise, we might get more than a few eyebrows raised if we led a tortured naked man through the hotel. But, acting quickly, we were able to bundle James into the hotel room in just a few short steps. Neither of our clothes would fit James, he was simply too big. I fetched one of the towels from our bathroom, and let him wrap that around himself for some dignity.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: We arrived, and with Jack and Jeff’s help, I was able to quickly get inside the hotel room. It felt amazing to finally be somewhere warm and safe. They gave me a towel to hide my nakedness. Then, I sat down to take stock of myself. Walking hurt like a son of a bitch, but the morphine had helped, and I could tell the swelling was already going down. My other wounds, the cut on my right side, the stab wound on my back, and the cut on my forearm were all stitched and treated. Daniel must have taken care of that when I was captured. Other than a constant, throbbing pain in my head from where I smashed myself against the table, and the savage scratches down the front of my torso from Daniel’s torture, the pain was actually starting to feel manageable. What I needed most was a good sleep. But even more than a good sleep. I needed hope. I looked up at Jeff, “Can you pull up some satellite imagery? Do we know where this base is where they are keeping Kyle?”

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I sit down next to James, damn, he was a big man. Even half tortured and covered in bandages, he looked dangerous. Then, I smile at Jack, beckoning him over. He and I had to have a talk soon, but it could wait. I look at the information Jack captured on his phone, and input the coordinates to the CSIS global satellite imaging database, much higher resolution than google earth, and much more complete. I examine the area carefully. It appeared to look like any other farm that you might stumble on in the countryside surrounding Des Moines, but there had to be more to it than that… Mmmmm.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: Jack comes over next to us as we all huddle around Jeff’s phone, looking at the satellite image of the Syndicate base. It looked like a farm… but what was that.. I gestured, looking up for permission, and as Jeff nods at me, I zoom in the image over a barn set off to the edge of the farm. “Look there..” I point at the well-worn road leading into the barn, the track leading up to it was heavily worn with tread marks, it clearly got a lot of use. Then I zoom into the other side of the barn, where a row of five dirtly looking propane tanks covered one side of the barn. “And here… This farm is just for show. Where is the tractor? I don’t see one… and look here, these pastures are full of cows and livestock, but there’s no sign of paddocks or any other facilities for processing and managing livestock near that farmhouse or barn. I bet it’s all for show. I bet those fields are leased to a neighbouring farmer. And look here, five industrial size propane tanks for a farm? No. I bet that’s a fuel source for a diesel generator. And… HERE..” I scan the area with a birds eye view, I point at a dark smudge rising up from a corner of the farm, “That looks like some kind of exhaust vent. I bet their base is almost entirely underground, and that barn is an entrance for it. It’s well hidden.. I’ll give them that.” Then I started thinking, coming up with a plan.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: “See that thick wooded area next to the barn and the propane tanks? We could hide ourselves there, wait until evening, then under the cover of darkness, I could crawl through the fields, and set a C4 charge on those fuel tanks. Then, once we blow the tanks up, that explosion will start a massive fire, and should draw nearly all the guards to fight it. Then, with the generators starved of fuel, we could enter the base through the exhaust vent we spotted safely without getting suffocated. Once we are in the base, we should have no trouble finding Kyle,with everyone fighting the fire.”

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I looked over at James in astonishment. He was one of the best… And I was seeing why first hand. The man was a tactical genius. I nodded, my confidence level going up several notches. We might be able to pull this off. With three of us, covering each other, and with most of the guards drawn off by that explosion. We might just manage it. I speak up, “James… I’d heard the stories of course… but to see you in action.. Man.” I grin, shaking my head, “All right, we’ll do it your way. But FIRST, you need to sleep. NOW! We’ll leave for Des Moines in a few hours, say about 1am. You can grab a few hours of sleep now, then sleep through the drive to Des Moines tomorrow. We’ll stop off somewhere and buy you some clothes, unless you want to try this little plan of yours in the nude…” I chuckle.

12:26 AgentJamesMason: I look over at Jeff, then down at the towel around my waist. “Uh, no, I think definitely clothes for this one.” I blush red, then, too tired to argue anymore, stumble over to the bed, and literally collapse on the mattress, quickly falling into a deep sleep, helped by the morphine and lack of sleep, beginning to snore within about 30 seconds.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I watch as James collapses, going out like a light, with a chuckle. Then, I get up and walk over to Jack. “All right Jack. We need to talk about this evening, back at that safehouse.” As I started to speak, my voice turned warm and compassionate, and I reached out with both my arms, and gathered Jack into a firm embrace. He didn’t have an option. He needed this right now. I held him tightly against me, letting him feel my strength, my concern, and my love. I loved Jack so much… and he needed me so badly right now. Tonight had hurt him deeply. He needed to get this out in the open. He felt so good against me, and I began to taste that special pain that comes from loving someone so much, and wanting something from them that you had no right to ask. This wasn’t about me or my needs, this embrace, this touch, this tenderness, this was about Jack. This was about Jack’s needs, this was about not letting the emotional pain of what he had done tonight festering inside him. I spoke very gently. “The first thing you need to know Jack, is that you are not a monster. Now, boy, talk to me. I need you to talk to me.” There it was again…. I called him boy? Why? He was a man.. But I had called him boy.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: James Mason, what an incredible man. He comes up with an intelligent plan within a matter of seconds. It dawns on me that I'm way out of my league here, surrounded by two highly-respected agents and expecting to be their "equal" in this upcoming mission. Now, I could never be. I'm a child, an insect compared to them. Once the plan is made I rise up and walk over to the window facing the parking lot, an orange glow seeping through the slatted blinds and onto my face. James passes out, thank God. He desperately needs it, and as silence falls upon the room I find myself once again spiralling into my dark void.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I almost don't notice Jeff approaching me. He says we need to talk, and suddenly I'm held against him. He wraps his arms around me the way he's done so many times before, but it always feels new each time. I feel like I could just melt into him, forever coating his body and becoming one. My face buries into his chest, and my arms instinctively return the embrace. I don't even think about it, it just happens. I feel my tears seep into his shirt and create small wet specks across his chest. I'm so fucking weak. I don't even know how to start, I could speak to Jeff for hours about everything that goes on in my head, but we don't have that time, and I can't dote on him like that.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: A million words reach the top of my tongue but I don't know which ones to say. Eventually, I give up and instead take the photo of the boy from my pocket and hold it up for Jeff to see. "Any day now, he's going to get a message to say his Dad's been killed. He doesn't deserve the years of pain that follow that, and I have no right to give it to him.." and then before I know it, I'm spilling. Words escape me like a speeding car that's lost control. The box of photos I keep at home, the nights I've drank so much but still managed to keep my hangovers a secret from Jeff, then finally.. feeling completely and utterly alone without a family, who blame me for the "incident" as much as I blame myself, and not having my father to be the kind voice I'd so often crave during my childhood. When I realise all that I have said, I feel ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Sir.. that was.. completely unprofessional, I just opened a box that hasn't been opened for--" I realise the end of that sentence is as depressing as the box itself. "--well, ever".

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: As I hold Jack tightly against me, I can feel him start to cry, his tears beginning to wet my shirt. I held him tighter, letting myself feel his pain and anguish. Then, he shows me the photo, it’s the photo of the small boy he used to threaten the Syndicate guard back at the safehouse. I can feel the guilt and self-blame in his words, then he pours out more and more, the box of photos, his drinking, his family ostracizing him. So much pain. I start to cry in sympathy, feeling how wounded this man is, a man I love deeply, determined to hold onto his guilt. My tears run down my cheeks into my beard, and my arms tighten around him as he cries, holding him so close. Finally, after he finishes speaking, I don’t say anything right away, I just hold him close, letting him know how loved he is by my touch.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Then, with a deep sigh, I speak, softly and gently. “Jack, the day we stop hurting is the day we stop living. This work is not easy, especially not for men like you and I. Our job comes with a heavy responsibility, and our actions, willing and unwilling, have heavy consequences. Today you saw those consequences up close and personal, just like the consequences you saw a few months ago after Derek Steel had his way with you. It isn’t easy, and it shouldn’t be. That pain we feel in the face of those consequences is our compass. It is because we feel that pain that we know we are not monsters. You are not a monster.” I tilt Jack’s head up so I can see into his eyes, my finger gently burying itself in the beard beneath his chin, the closeness of his body against mine feeling like a slice of heaven, so fit, so firm. His smell surrounds me, a smell I will remember for all of my life. “You are a talented man with a compassionate heart in a job that forces us to make hard decisions.” I lean down, and rest my forehead against Jack’s and stare deep into his eyes, my beard is nearly touching his, our lips are so close. The intimacy, the closeness of the moment hangs like electricity in the air between us. “Fight for what you love. Remember that. And the pain is easier to bear when you don’t have to bear it alone. And you don’t. Because I’m right here to help you bear it. Remember that.”

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: Jeff tries his hardest to convince me that I am a decent human being. He speaks so assuredly that I almost believe his words, but years of telling myself the same horrible things over and over again are preventing me from accepting it entirely. Jeff tilts my head back and I see that he's been crying too.. It shocks me, I'm so confused. Why!? I'm nothing to him, yet he's getting emotional at my sadness? I'm just the son of a former friend who got beaten up and needed medical help for it, I don't understand. Then he presses his forehead to mine and stares into my eyes. He's so kind, he's perfect. It's unbearable being so close. "He's just a friend, he's just a friend.." I keep telling myself, but his face centimetres away from mine.. I can't help it.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I'm so overcome with emotion, my defences are down, my mind is foggy, and.. I lean forward and kiss him. My lips press against his tenderly, they're so soft hidden beneath that gorgeous hair of his beard. He washes over me as I lose myself in the kiss, it's amazing.. to really FEEL Jeff the way I've wanted to feel him for over ten years. Oh fuck, it's everything I ever hoped for--FUCK! I pull away abruptly, my face pale and mouth agape, in absolute shock at myself. "Oh my god, si-sir, I'm--" fuck I'm panicking, stammering, I can feel my palms getting sweaty and I'm trembling all over. Fucking idiot oh my god, I don't even know ehre to look or what to say. "I'm so so sorry, I, erm-- I just, fuck... I'm.. oh god" FUCKING SPEAK, JACK! Get your words out, pull yourself together. I squirm away from Jeff, mortified with myself. "Please don't hate me for that, I'm sorry.. I have no fucking idea why I did that" I want the ground to swallow me up, I want to run out the room straight into the arms of Derek Steel to let him finish me off. I clasp my hands to my head with anger and frustration towards myself, and the world.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: It’s such a razor’s edge I’m walking with Jack, striving so hard to give him the warmth and reassurance, the human closeness and contact he needs to know that he is a good man, all while keeping a tight rein on my own desires, the longing, the aching I have to be with Jack… in that way. Then, suddenly, shockingly, Jack leans into me and kisses me! My knees tremble, and every nerve ending I have starts to fire. Oh god… this is not… this is not happening… please let this be happening… it’s not proper… it’s what I want… It’s not good for Jack… but it’s so good for me. Does he really… feel that way about me? Then, as I’m starting to melt inside, Jack breaks the kiss off. The end of the kiss is just as shocking and abrupt as the start. I’m reeling, my head is spinning and I feel like I’ve just had a taste of heaven on earth. The warm feel of his mouth against mine, the taste of him. Then, suddenly, he’s pulling away from me, and he’s so ashamed, so embarrassed, the words of self-recrimination are stumbling out of him.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: He pulls himself out of my embrace, and I’m so stunned I’m finding it hard to regain my balance. I don’t know what to feel right now, but I know one thing for certain, I don’t want Jack to beat himself up over it. Staggering a bit, trying to recover my balance after the intense pleasure of that kiss, I step forward, and stop his tirade right there, on the spot. “I don’t hate you Jack.” I reach out and grab his shoulder, firmly, not giving him a choice in the matter. “And you have absolutely nothing to apologize about.” Could I allow myself to go there with Jack? Was something I thought totally beyond the realms of possibility actually possible? Did he… really feel that way about me? But I can’t push it… I can’t force it, I’m so much older than Jack, he’s just a young man, I couldn’t take advantage of him that way. It wouldn’t be proper… or would it? If it was truly mutual, how could it not be proper? I spoke up again, “Jack. Listen to me. It’s late, and we need to get a few hours of sleep. We should leave here by 1am. We’ll probably want to take turns for the drive to Des Moines, so let’s rest up.” I look over at the big snoring lump on the only bed. Then, I grab a spare blanket and lay it out on the floor. Then, trembling at the forwardness of my next act, I call on all my courage. I can face men in a gunfight without trembling, but what I’m about to do next makes me shake like a leaf in the wind. I bend forward, and tenderly kiss Jack on the forehead. “C’mon Jack, let’s get a bit of sleep. There is only this one blanket, so I’m afraid, if you don’t mind sharing...” I lay down on the floor, and invite Jack to join me under the blanket. We are fully clothed, so that makes it all right, doesn’t it? I want… need… to have him next to me.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I’m absolutely falling apart, my hands grab at the back of my neck as I pace and freak out. I feel an overwhelming urge to hurt myself, to punish myself for the utter humiliation I have just caused. I will never recover from this, I just kissed my boss.. The man who saved me from my torture and cared for me in his home, and I fucking kiss him? I can’t even control my limbs, they’ve taken on a mind of their own as they tremble immensely. This is when I turn to drink, when the anxiety reaches such a level that I need to be free of the horrible thoughts in my head. But I can’t hurt myself or drink myself silly in this situation, I’m stuck like a deer in the headlights. I have exposed myself in every way possible to Jeff, I’ve poured out all of my dark secrets to him, and then kissed him. Every time I think I’ve reached rock bottom, life finds a way of pounding me into the ground even more.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: There’s a tiny glimmer of hope that clings to my mind.. Maybe Jeff will return my love. The way he’s cared for me, the way he speaks to me and holds me.. Maybe there’s something there that will stop this from being a complete disaster. Maybe he’ll grab me now and kiss me back, the only way I see myself getting out of this horrible pit. “It’s late, and we need sleep” he says, and it’s a punch to the fucking gut. The tiny glimmer of hope gets sucked into the black hole of my spiralling mind, and is gone forever. Rejected. I feel utterly and completely broken. Just as the emotions are about to completely overtake my body.. He kisses me on the forehead. Every possible feeling floods my body. Despair, confusion, lust, shame.. I have no idea what’s happening. I was seconds away from sleeping in the car to get some distance, to cry myself to sleep in the cold back seat of the Land Rover, but.. This? A kiss? And sleeping together on the floor of this shitty hotel room? My mind isn’t even working anymore, all I know is that I’m embarrassed as fuck and everything I do and say from now on will only make me feel worse.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: My breathing hasn’t been right for so long my chest is actually hurting, but I force a deep, staggered breath and nod once, refusing to even make eye contact with Jeff. I don’t even want to be near him, I’ve ruined everything.. But that kiss. Was it a sign of forgiveness? Of love being returned? Or just Jeff being his perfect, sweet self? I’m wide awake, but exhausted at the same time. I slowly kneel down next to Jeff and lie on my back next to him. I stare at the dark, dirty ceiling, my heart pounding in my chest. I don’t know where to look, what to say, where to put my arms, how close to be to him.. Anything. Right now, if I could turn back time.. I’d go back to the day I first met him, when I came downstairs and he stood in the hallway in all his beauty, and stayed away. To never fall into this horrible trap of love, one that’s been tearing me apart for years, to make sure this night never happened. The words cause more tears to fall from my eyes.. wishing I’d never met Jeff.. I hate myself for even thinking them. 30 minutes ago, laying next to Jeff like this would have been absolute heaven, as it always has been. Now, it’s torture. Focus. Mission. Kyle. More important things than my fucking schoolboy crush on the teacher, although I know my feelings are far more than that. I try and slow my breathing and steady my racing heart, almost pretending Jeff isn’t there. But he’s all I can think about.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: As Jack lies next to me, I can feel the tension and tightness as he lays in contact with me. I start to beat myself up, thinking that I mishandled the entire situation badly. In trying to protect him, I’ve hurt him, and that is tearing a wound in my heart. I can’t… can’t leave matters like this. I can’t… This requires decisive action. It will be crossing a boundary that I’ve wanted to cross for so long.. But I haven’t allowed myself to cross it, not since Trent and I. Jack needs me. I need him. All of the implications will have to sort themselves out. You think you are a brave man, Jeff? Then prove it. Prove it right here and right now. Do what is right, for both of you. But is this right? How many regulations does this violate? Is it even ethical for me, his superior, to take advantage of him like this? How many… Shut up Jeff. Listen to your gut. I nod, to myself, then suddenly, firmly, I roll Jack over onto his back, and gently climb on top of him. I’m shaking with nerves and fear and anguish, this is taking a step that can’t be undone. I hope, I pray,that what I’m about to do is what Jack needs, and not just what I need. I pin Jack beneath me, my hard, lean hairy muscle resting lightly on top of Jack’s own lean, strong, young body. Then, as tears gather in my eyes, I bend down, tilt my head and whisper to Jack. “You and I have a lot to discuss when this is all over boy…” There it was again??? Why do I keep calling him boy? He’s a man? And then my lips melt into his, and this time I kiss him, our beards grinding together, and the intensity of the passion and the love that is boiling inside me, suppressed for so long breaks forth like a dam bursting, my tongue dives deep, deep inside Jack’s mouth, and my hands gently cup his head, and I stroke his hair. My erection is so hard and stiff that there is no way Jack cannot feel it as I grind my body into his, lost in the pleasure of this kiss. And this time, I won’t let him escape, my weight pinning him down beneath me. I won’t have him tearing himself down, I won’t have him thinking that it is wrong for him to want to be with me in that way, not when I want the same thing. I won’t have it. I love him too much to let him believe that.

12:26: Agent_Jack_Young: I can’t even close my eyes to sleep, just stare blankly at the ceiling, my body tense and rigid. There’s an awkward beat of silence, neither Jeff or I can acknowledge each other or what happens. We just drown in the empty atmosphere, each passing second feeding into my anxiety. Jeff moves and my heart stop, is he rolling away from me? Facing James on the bed so I get the cold stare of his back-- oh fuck he’s coming my way, he’s-- he fucking mounts me!? I don’t even have time to question what’s actually happening as suddenly his lips are against mine. Oh fuck.. Oh shit, what the hell is this? It’s a dream, I’ve gone truly mad and imagining the whole thing. Jeff.. his entire weight on top of me, holding me down to the ground, calling me boy and.. Oh god, his tongue enters my mouth. Every dark thought slips away from my mind like somebody turned the light on, and my hand instantly slides against his face. I greet his tongue with my own, sliding it along his and slipping it into his mouth each chance I get. Every single sense is heightened, I smell Jeff all over me, I feel him the way I’ve only ever dreamed I could feel him.. It’s absolute heaven on earth.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: A small moan escapes my lips as I lose myself entirely in the kiss. My hand drifts from his face and slides down the sides of his body. I grind gently against him, my dick absolutely rock hard. My hands slide under his shirt, stroking his back. The palms of my hands are on Jeff’s body, and it feels like it’s where they’ve always belonged. This is truly the greatest moment of my life, and I find myself feeling emotional. I shouldn’t be emotional during a time like this, this should be enthralling, exciting and ecstatic.. It’s all those things, but a small tear forms in my eye. This is happening, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I have never once cried a happy tear in my life, but here it is. My tongue continues to explore Jeff’s mouth as his searches mine, his strong hands feel so amazing on my face, in my hair.. I grind harder, I can’t not. I want Jeff all over me, and I all over him.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: One kiss… it was just meant to be one kiss to reassure him, to let him know that everything was good between us, one kiss to ease his pain and suffering… it was nothing to do with my needs or desires. Just one kiss. Then suddenly, Jack is kissing me back with an explosion of passion, diving into me as I am into him. My nerves are on fire, as his hand runs through my beard, then down my body, underneath the simple t-shirt I had been wearing under my bullet proof vest. His hand starts running through my thick black body hair, leaving trails of pure ecstacy. Suddenly, before I fully realize what I’m doing, my hands are running down his head, down his arms, and grabbing the bottom of his shirt. I need to feel his skin on mine.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I smoothly pull his shirt up, levering up on first one elbow then the other, till I have it up over his head and off him, breaking off the most sensational and incredible kiss I’ve ever experienced before to do so. I sit up quickly, and throw my own shirt off, tossing it aside. I lean down, and with a low, animal-like growl deep in my throat, I rub my hard, hairy torso all up and down the length of Jack’s body and face, delighting in the contact. Finally, I roll us both over, with me now on my back and my arms around Jack, nestling his face against my chest, my arms wrapped around the back of his shoulders and head, holding him fiercely passionately, feeling his lean , tautly muscled body against my own. My erection is straining to get free of my trousers, I gasp once as I grind my hips up into his torso.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: Jeff takes the bottom of my shirt and pulls it over my head, ending the kiss I was so incredibly lost in. Then, he removes his own shirt and I enter a new wave of ecstasy, his perfect body towers over me. He reaches down and slides it against mine, our bodies pressed together in a moment of absolute bliss. Another moan escapes my lips, thank fuck Mason is out for the count. Suddenly, I’m rolled over and Jeff is under me, my face buried in his beautiful hairy chest. Oh fuck.. I need this. I kiss his chest, then move down to his abs, plastering his body with kisses, tasting his body with my tongue. Then I lick the length of his body, over his abs and reaching a nipple. It’s absolute heaven, his body feels incredible under my tongue. I become obsessed with it, worshipping his body as he grinds against me. When it’s eventually nice and wet from my tongue, his hair matted and clinging to his body, I kiss down his stomach once more, reaching the top of his cargos.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: My hands shake and tremble as I desperately clasp at them, my mind still hasn’t caught up with the fact that this is actually happening. I pull them down to just below his manhood and expose Jeff in all his glory. Oh fuck, there he is.. The only part of Jeff I’ve never seen, and he’s every bit as perfect as I’d imagined. This is my “thank you” to Jeff, an expression of my gratitude for everything he has ever done for me in my life. I want this moment to be about him and him only. I take him in my mouth, closing my lips around his length and sliding back and forth, nice and slow. I can’t rush this, I want Jeff to feel every movement, every pump of his shaft. My hands idly slide across his body, taking in his hair and perfection as I keep sucking, speeding up slightly. I please him just enough to make it a tease, a prelude to what’s to come, as I realise that in my haste I never made him fully naked. I want him completely free of anything on his body, so I pull away and finish undressing him, pulling his cargos and sock off so that he is completely and truly naked under me. I steal a cheeky kiss of the soles of his feet, musked after a long day of hard physical work, before kissing along the length of his leg back to his manhood, and take it in my mouth again. I wish I had a thousand pairs of lips to completely engulf Jeff with my kisses, to be in more than one place on his body at the same time.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: I hold Jack tightly, glorying in the amazing feel of his body, his face against mine. Then, he starts to lick my chest and abs, with a sensuality that makes me catch my breath. When he finds one of my pert nipples, and begins to suck on it, every muscle in my body tenses and my toes curl. I can feel my crotch start to get damp from pre-cum. Jack has my number, and he’s not shy about taking advantage of it. I’m in a state of stunned, blissful shock and disbelief. And I was worried about seducing Jack… Oh my god… Then, he’s down at the crotch of my cargo trousers, unbuckling my belt and crotch, and pushing them down. I sit up, my eyes going wide as he takes my manhood inside his mouth, slowly, sensuously sliding his mouth up and down the length of my shaft. I’m actually starting to gasp and spasm. How is this moment even possible… I never dreamed… and now here he is… being with me in the way I’d always hoped he would. And it’s better, far better than what I had dreamed he could be. His touch, his movements, his scent, his passion has me spellbound.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: He pulls away, and then he finishes undressing me, pulling off my cargo trousers until I am completely naked, my cock erect, standing up like a flagpole, glistening from both pre-cum and Jack’s saliva. Little shudders of delight are passing up and down my spine, and then when he kisses my feet, I gasp out loud and partially sit up, to stare down at Jack, my eyes wide and shining with amazement and pleasure. He works his way up my leg and latches once again onto my manhood, engulfing it in his eager mouth. My balls are boiling with desire, but this moment… this moment will not be all about me. It will not. I sit up, and gently cup Jack’s head, and slowly, delightfully drag his face up the length of my damp, furry muscle to kiss in again, while one hand reaches down and undoes the belt and catch of his own cargo trousers. I use my bare toes to hook his trousers, and gently pull them off him.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Then, I roll Jack over onto his back again, and slowly, gently, ease my body back between his legs. My hands stroke the sides of his thighs, and my mouth nuzzles at his manhood. I’ve never, ever allowed myself to gaze on it before. I sniff it, letting his musky scent fill my mind with further desire. Then, I taste it experimentally, gently, exploring the rim of his head with the tip of my tongue and washing his firm, hard manhood with my tongue. As my hands work their way up his sides, massaging his lean, hard muscle on the way, my mouth slowly leaves his cock behind, and begins to gradually make it’s way up his torso, licking, tasting, glorying in the firm leanness of his taut muscle, my beard brushing behind my tongue as I work my way up his body, between his chest, and nibble gently on the bottom of his chin. I kiss him once, then take a moment to stare into his eyes, my own eyes are shining bright with love for this man.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Then, carefully, I slowly rotate on my hands and knees until I’m facing his crotch again. Then, with my legs straddling Jack’s head, my cock pointing downwards, a small bead of pre-cum beginning to gather at the tip of my manhood, I lower myself down, engulfing his manhood in my eager mouth, losing myself totally in the pleasure of finally being with the man I have loved from afar for so long,unable to believe that I am actually here with him.

12:26: Agent_Jack_Young: Jeff completely undresses me and rolls me onto the floor again. He explores my body, nuzzling my cock and using his tongue to send me into an absolute state of bliss. I moan again, completely consumed by Jeff’s touch as licks across my body, getting close and closer to my face. Our eyes meet and I’ve never felt so mesmerised in my life. I truly cannot believe this is happening, that all this time Jeff has felt something too.. Or was this just a spur of the moment thing? I don’t know, and I don’t care. Jeff is mine for this moment, and I am his. Whatever happens after can wait. He turns, no upside down and parallel to my body. He takes me in his mouth, and I return the favour. As his cock hangs tauntingly above my face, I take it inside and pleasure him as he does me. The circle of pleasure is absolutely beautiful, he pleasures me as I do so to him, stuck in a perfect, endless loop of give and take. It’s everything I ever dreamed it would be, I could absolutely explode in his mouth right now but I want this moment to last a lifetime.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I bring my knees up and dig my heels into the ground, using them to thrust gently into Jeff’s mouth, fuelling my pleasure. Oh fuck, it’s amazing. My hands slide over every inch of his body, everywhere I can possibly reach. I feel his thick, hairy muscle and meat, moaning as he pushes me closer and closer to climax. I want his cum to blast down my throat, and I want to do the same to him, I maximise the use of my tongue, occasionally using my hand to pull him out so that I can lick his length and tease his tip, before entering it back in my mouth and pumping with my mouth. I gag a few times as he reaches the back of my throat but I don’t care, knowing he is so deep inside me only turns me on more. I feel myself at absolute 100% now, I hold off for as long as I possibly can, delaying the inevitable just so I can extend this perfect moment for as long as I can. My thrusts speed up as I reach my destination, and before I know it I’ve exploded in an absolute sweet release. All the anger, love, sadness and ecstasy that has coursed through my body these last few months disappears into the absolute God that is Jeff Rogers. My head goes funny and I forget how to breathe as I lay on the floor in bewilderment, moaning intensely as it happens. That was… perfect. I almost forget that it’s Jeff’s turn, and quickly resume working on him, wanting him to experience the same incredible feeling I just did. I want to be filled with the essence of Jeff, so I work hard to get him there. Pumping, sucking, licking.. Everything. I want Jeff to join me up here on cloud nine.

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: As my mouth engulfs Jack’s manhood, I can feel Jack’s mouth enfolding my own. Oh man, the sensation of having my manhood inside Jack… being swallowed by him.. His tongue and hand working in tandem to drive me absolutely wild. Every single nerve starts tingling as I take Jack’s manhood in as deep as I can, deep in my throat, and back out to the tip, then back again, my tongue swirling around his head on each pass. I want this to last forever, to string out each moment of sheer delight and love to an eternity, but I am only a man, and even my self-control has limits. Suddenly, I feel Jack tense beneath me, and I feel him hold his breath. Then, suddenly, my mouth is filled with his seed, rich and warm and salty. I take in every drop, taking in the essence of Jack, the essence of the man I love deep into me. And this pushes me over the edge,

12:26 Agent_Jeff_Rogers: Every nerve erupts in blissful fire, my eyes go wide, I gasp, tense, and my heavy, hairy balls pulse, flooding Jack with my essence as my toes curl from the extreme pleasure. I ride the moment with Jack, letting the ecstasy slowly start to fade. I sigh deeply, contentedly. I’m in a stupor, a daze, in shock. Did I just do this? Yes, yes I did. I rotate back around again, and lay beside Jack. There was no going back now, and I don’t want to. Whatever the professional and ethical consequences are, then I will deal with them. I lay on my side, my nerves singing, and pull Jack up against my chest, his back pressed tightly against my damp, hairy chest, my arm wrapping around his lean, taut chest, spooning his body deeply into the curve of mine. Suddenly, I’m so exhausted, so tired, so happy. I whisper into Jack’s ear as I hold him tightly, “I love you… now let’s get some sleep, and we can talk about all of this later… I love you…” I make sure my alarm is set for 1am, as I begin to drift off to sleep in perfect, though stunned and shell shocked, peace, Jack held tightly against my body. I don’t want to ever let him go.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: Jeff releases inside me in almost perfect unison, a symphony of him flooding my throat. Oh damn, it’s perfection. He may not have been the first man to plant his seed in me, but from this day on my mind will force itself to believe he was. Derek has no power over me. I do not belong to him, despite the scarred initials of him on my chest. I belong to Jeff, completely, entirely and wholeheartedly. I hate that my mind even remembers that horrible moment during a time like this, but it feels bittersweet. What was once my darkest memory just got a little brighter, because Jeff has flushed Steel out of my body in this moment, claiming it as his own. Jeff repositions and lays next to me, taking me into his body and holding me tightly. It’s as amazing as the sex itself, to be forever held in this embrace would make me die a happy man.

12:26 Agent_Jack_Young: I lace my fingers between his, my head resting against his bicep. His chest is warm and wet against my back, and then he utters three words that stun me into absolute silence. He loves me. What? This wasn’t just a sudden urge, a random temptation? He loves me? How I’ve longed to say those words to him, and how him saying them to me floods me with an emotion I’ve never felt before, something words can’t even describe. I feel.. Fulfilled. In every sense of the word. I have validation, for being exactly who I am, for everything I’ve done. The man I’ve loved for so fucking long loves me too, and that’s everything I’ve ever needed in life. “I love you too, sir..” I squeeze his hand and arm tightly in a final embrace, a happy tear forming in my eye as I finally get to say the words out loud. I love you, Jeff Rogers.. And now he knows. The weight of lust and secrecy has been lifted from my chest in an instant. I close my eyes in his perfect embrace.. And drift off to sleep in my new forever home - Jeff’s arms.

Published: 2021-03-24, viewed 32 times.